The making of the video brought relief. Feeling a lot better, I actually just remembered something that I was trying to remember and it just hit me all of the sudden and my eyes went all wide and I had the camera up already so I just like looked at myself in the camera with a surprised face, it was kind of hilarious. And even, that act of remembering, given the encoding of the great emotion, circumstantial kind of emotion, encodes it like it engraves it so I’m not going to forget again. It makes it so the remembering stays, it stamps it. It’s because I cared, it doesn’t keep the process going and repeat itself. You can do that to control your mind (control your emotional context and influence perception and memory-cognition) and this is part of what I remembered (or more-so, the expansion).
After some food and introspection I felt restored, a lot better. Sleeps been wild, no need for attention over at least what I want to say. So don’t worry as well and you shouldn’t really worry about anything anyway because that’s not going to do anything but associate that energy and sorry if I’m speaking to low.
The talk tomorrow is with Patricia Farrington.
There are still some posts from the past month or two which I have to put together into a video and now there are like two parallel movements of streams of information which are both becoming apparent simultaneously.
Pleasure through desire requires a balance of pain. If you figure out how to get pleasure without desire, then you’ve reached the actual enlightenment, not the perverted use of the word. That is a neutral or non-dual pleasure it doesn’t carry (the desire based pleasure, pain balance) (I’m still a bit tired). That is how the material system of reality works. One cannot escape this while using the body to experience pleasures from the system that requires duality (hot, cold, pleasure, pain). Reverse that and the non-dual spiritual reality is unveiled (hot, cold, pain, pleasure).
Fasting brings pleasure, this is spiritual restoration from the awareness that is born through the removal of that physical perception that blocks the higher mind by entraining the lower mind. The opposite of the joy from fasting would be eating again! Thus, the opposite of that pleasure is not pain! Thus the pleasure of fasting is not a physical, desire based pleasure, but the opposite, and this nourishes the spirit. If you do that then eventually you’re not long a part of this realm, you are, but you’re a part of everything and nothing in particular. So you can’t be both high and low at the same time, yet through this non-duality beyond the pleasure pain duality, then you can and this “breaks the laws”, or not the laws but you move beyond this realm, but become part of everything. So this shapes everything that’s going on here, all the money, the professions, everything that’s going on.
And the thing I remembered is funny, because of the way it was like stuck or impressed upon my mind, as if it was insisting that I remember it.
Consciousness or more-so awareness, self-awareness is comprised of, at first, of moments of wakefulness; when you come to a cognitive arousal. It’s really a cog-, cogent? I always mess up that word, cognizant? Yes, and cogent is closer to precision in an argument, which is not quite the word but possibly related given the concepts, it’s kind of the same if you follow the trail. And so imagine a young child coming to awareness and if you go deep enough you can even find these memories. Children are in a hypnagogic trance, at least the majority of them are. This is similar to what it is believed at least, and this is also something I was taught, however I have similar, along the same lines maybe not as pronounced ideas, but that the tribes that haven’t really taken to the individuality that comes with what we call modern civilization where everyone’s basically wearing the same clothes doing the same thing or a few general basic jobs. Everyone’s in the same trance, they don’t know that they’re aware of who they are, they’re just aware, it’s a pure awareness without restriction, but in that the finding, that restriction we have to have resistance. There is a quote that said, uh, it’s on twitter from Esoteric Exposal (might be someone different now that I can’t find it), I want to see who said it,, that quote, it was kind of sexist, things were pretty sexist back in the day (and even now). B.o.B. said he wants some ‘boneless fries’, I don’t know what those are… but the quote was, “Man knows himself, through knowing other men.” So basically in having that boundary what you are and you are not, only then do you know what you are. And when you’re just, you’re knowing what you are, there’s really no knowingness which is paradoxical. Only by introducing the boundary, the lack of continuity do you gain what is being separate and through that separation, whole and singular, and one. And uh, this person makes so many posts, and uh, so that relates to the consciousness because only once we wake up to realize we were asleep do we realize we’re awake, and until that point we’re basically in a type of dream where it’s like a lullaby where it dances around the message, the control, but (extremely loud car 10:55), but we don’t actually know how to formulate what it is that is motivating what is driving us and what we’re expressing and to express ourselves. And if you think about it, logically, linearly, our selves motivating us to express ourselves, well that’s not really sensible and that’s where that duality paradox comes in which is where you have the definition or where you have the restriction the boundary of what is, is where you have the definition of what is. And if you do that with your self, you basically become, uh, the world, if you will.
There’s so many posts I can’t find the quote to see who said it because I’d like to see who said it, I’ve scrolled through like 50 twitter tweets. Yea, check out Esoteric Exposal on twitter you won’t be able to say you know everything they’re showing you, just after a few minutes of scrolling. It’s all esoteric knowledge and this is what is used to control the population. I can’t find it.
And so in that duality, that paradoxical knowingness based on not knowingness we find an emergence quality of self-awareness of consciousness and at first there are broken blips glimpses like uh, we’re taking naps out of the hypnagogic trance and temporarily waking up to constant and continuous awareness but falling back asleep rather quickly. When we can connect the moments of wakefulness, because we learn how to self-stimulate that act of waking up, cause you imagine normally when we wake up it’s, if we’re awoken, it’s by something else, by noise, a sound, the sun, or you run out of, not run out of but you gain all you can gain from sleeping and your body will naturally wake up. The point is imagine if we’re in a place where it’s, you could do that forever. So we have to learn to wake ourselves up, and when the points are connected, the glimpses of wakefulness, that trance that goes to emergent consciousness, and self-awareness becomes a stream of awareness, a stream of consciousness and from that stream, that’s where your personality is born. It’s where you begin to shape this aspect of who you are, the mirror, the reflection of yourself, the image in the waters of your mind, basically.
And uh, it’s just like the monkey trying to grab the moon in the reflection in the water. You can’t grab yourself, because you invented it, to explain the paradox of being asleep and being awake at the same time, in the same world. And it’s because there is a gradient between high awareness and low awareness, it’s all one, but it is separate because it’s operates differently. And it’s mathematical, geometric, you know, frequency based, pattern based, the whole plethora of modes and methods that come together to create this capacity to emerge from having points of separate data points and from those points of having whole networks that emerge and become units of wholeness in different points and at the same time you can have multiple points that are separately independent and as well networked and connected as larger wholes and this expands and expands but this pattern never actually ends. And it’s also because the same process that’s cycling, it’s kind of like a Rolodex that’s connected to other (*drinks* that’s water by the way, not soda), too other, uh, basically other realms. It’s like a uh, wheel of fortune that spins but while that one’s spinning, that track that you can see, there’s simultaneously an invisible one above it and below it and they’re both spinning in maybe different directions even, and depending on where this one lands, the material one, the other one’s will give you different answers and if you ever align them all in a certain way, the power level increases beyond what either of them are separately and so what we have here is an emergence that expands beyond the energy of what we have in what we can see. So it’s like we get energy from nowhere.
It’s kind of like a free-energy but instead of energy, you get awareness. And that awareness is a presence in the moment, so if you’re kind of watching TV. or something, if you watch TV., which is not safe for your health, except for maybe some interesting movies and stuff. And you go into trance, the idea is you don’t know you’re in a low state of awareness, because you’re in a low state of awareness! That’s the point, it’s reflexive (I said I was gonna make this short…), that’s why it would have to, I remembered this, this is how I came up with this conclusion, it’s between the individual components and the whole. The parts and portions, and the whole, there’s only one whole which just means all of them, and there’s multiple parts which always means partiality to the whole, the components that lead up to it, you can have those components that lead up go on forever and you can have the ultimate view expand forever. But, in the “end”, if you will, for the whole, there’s a finite set but those sets can combine, it’s like the LED little light game (from back in the day) where you can plug these LED’s in and make all these different shapes, on the board you have a limited amount of slots to put in the LEDs (little lights) that light up. But you can do so many combinations that you can make virtually, for our intentions, for our use and intentions, virtually an unlimited amount of combinations. You’re never going to sit there and run out of combinations, you can make anything, people make crazy sceneries with these, you know certain toys like that, or the Etch-a-sketch, technically, there’s a limited finite amount of combinations, but we’re never going to reach that in any probabilistic manner.
In that sense though, from a universal perspective, there’s so only so many atoms or so many combinations, it’s finite, limited there’s only so many base elements, or fragments or components, or frequencies-harmonics, or mathematical patterns or primes, or something like that. But they create this universe where it’s seemingly infinite, it gives us infinite experience, like the Rolodex of consciousness. From that, we’re in just a little slice of that, but the reality of it is that it’s multiple layers stacked over one another, and that’s another term, another way of understanding this, is that it’s stacking. It’s literally through data-stacking that information emerges where basically the excess from these invisible realms that are currently, from the physical, invisible to us here, leak in in various ways that the components configure themselves to introduce correspondence between the levels and there is more here to become aware than there was seemingly before. We didn’t add anything, change the configuration and you get more energy than with the previous configuration. So it’s like a puzzle game or something like that, and your brain is doing that, and really it’s your energy system. Your brain is like the organ that it invented to come up with that.
There are certain bits of knowledge about how the brain has configurations to restrict that and create an overwhelming sense of excess possibilities and configurations so that it looks like a maze and a labyrinth but it’s really not. In that sense the stream of consciousness when we can tie them together, that is the basis of it. Imagine if you watch TV, which I hope you don’t, or when you watch a movie because I watch a few movies here and there. Basically, watch yourself and this is what mean by multiple layers. If you can see yourself and you catch yourself slipping into that lull state who caught yourself and who slipped into it? Are there three of you? One that slipped, one that caught the event, and one that is observing everything? You’re at multiple layers simultaneously but you don’t know because you don’t have a use for that, but once you learn how to reconfigure the way you observe and your perspective changes and complexifies or expands, then those components are possible and it’s actually as if you’re taking a step back and introducing and extra-dimensional or extra consciousness layer that you can observe from without interacting and it’s as if there’s more of you, of your experience, than just the one singular linear consciousness that is present when we don’t have the capacity to self stimulate, self initialize wakefulness.
This can all be learned by remembering how, as a child, you basically went through these same things. But it’s over years and things like that. And when you learn to go within, through certain practices, or the heat of the moment, you know emotions are high, food and desires and you go into delayed gratification, like Kai said (check that video on the facebook, I’ll probably make a post on the blog about that), that that is the sign, the mark of awareness, the aware, the ‘modern’ man. But it doesn’t mean modern, it means enlightened, Christed, which is where if you can choose to be self-aware then you’re moving out of autonomy and the mechanistic reaction and reactive state of lower consciousness which is an animal instinctual existence and those realms, similar to everything else I’ve been saying, have a reflection in an energetic plane, and those are the lower realms of the energetic spiritual animals, and a human, is not supposed to be in the animal planes, it’s the weeping and gnashing of teeth. It would be like a human going into the jungle and living, after living in a city, which, I wouldn’t recommend living in a city, and I’d probably recommend living in the jungle in certain situations, because people in the jungle are healthier (primarily mentally, although as well as physically in many situations) than people in the city. The point is that in that contrast it’s the same in the reflection for the mental realms, or the spiritual realms, where if a person is overtaken and their body flips upside down, spiritually, and now their lower energy centers are their head and see through their butt basically, or their genitals, and their mouth and their heart and their thinking aspects are down low being guided like an animal, ok then that’s backwards. And the person’s whole universe is upside down from there on, and they live in an energetic realm that is similarly reversed.
And so in that sense, when consciousness, emergence of self-awareness, rises, emerges to the forefront of the motivation for how you interact and observe this reality, and your self, in literally observing the act observing of yourself, breaking it down, what it means to be, in order to define what you’re defining. Not anything in particular or specifics, but in the general kind of vague or self-referential partially redundant manner. There’s actually a term for this, a self-referential (can’t find the name of the study of redundancy “P” word?), redundancy is a certain form of self-reference where basically the action or reason behind what the purpose of something is is the definition of how it exists in the first place, it feeds back into itself like a loop. For example, a clock that has the image of the clock say at a 12 midnight (or noon) and you look at where the 12 would be and it has the image of two hands going up like at 12 midnight (or noon). And you look at 3 and it has the image of the hands of the clock at 3 o’clock for where the number “3” should be. So instead of the numbers it’s the clock itself, and the whole thing is made of clocks telling you when it points at 3 o’clock, ok you get the 3 over there and so the number shows itself. It’s like a word that is defined by using itself in the definition (this is Humanity! Eternal presence!)
It’s redundancy, and there’s a study for that. It’s like a mind game. That’s what consciousness is because that’s what you’re doing and when you can learn to do that it leads into more of the same and that’s what I mean by these feedback loops where eventually it will introduce layers that weren’t explicitly visible or seemingly necessary before, until you get to the point where it’s entirely not unnecessary, but it’s excess to the point where you’re seeing everything to the point where you have no way or possibility to use all of this information logically, but then it loops back around itself and it becomes the meaning of why you’re there because it’s not necessary to use the information to do something different but to become more conscious. So you get consciousness to become more conscious of yourself, to become more aware, so you’re more aware of yourself. The point is when you can learn to self-initiate that, that’s when that becomes something that is like a power that defines itself. I don’t know how to describe from there, but that’s the point, that there is no way of describing what it is specifically because this goes back to being conscious of being conscious. If you go beyond that in describing what it is you’re doing then you move out of that state. If you can stay in that state and still actively be doing it, you’re stacking layers and that’s where these invisible layers begin to, you’re forcing them to express themselves in this plane and you’re overloading this plane basically. It goes back to what I said a while ago about the sacred pathway which is basically if you have, from duality, basically it’s a sine wave, a parabola, you think you have the up and down motion, in-out, high-low, whatever it is described as, it’s really a polarity of it’s own nature.
This means it’s a redundancy, up and down is not up and down but is basically out a distance and then back in to where it started in the first place. The high and low is the same thing, it’s not more of something and the opposite of something else, it’s literally one thing in a gradient, and there’s only one thing there. Where we see two things, and we think it’s a sensation that is separated, hot and cold or whatever, and it’s really only one thing there. It’s itself being separated by our perspective, but the point of that is, you know geometrically, or visually, graphically, if you map this function you basically get a circle, (what is the word for it, these are the things I always forget!) *looks for the word*, circle unit, unit circle, unit line (laughs), aw man I’m messing this one up, no unit circle. Yea, which is basically the mapping of say a turning of a circle in a logarithmic, I think you could say it’s a logarithmic progression, it’s basically it’s like a wave. The point is when you get more complex things you can use this to determine things, (to project paths) to graph them. But in the basic sense, that same motion of something going like this say around a clock (makes a circle motion), you can map it as something going like this (makes a wave pattern in air) and it’s weird because it’s not just that you’re mapping it in terms of the values because that’s true too, but literally if you draw it on paper and trace a dot, or a thumbtack around the shape of a small circle or hula hoop or something as it rolls, on a piece of paper, it draws a wave-function out like that. And so it’s mathematically, numerically, matching the progression on the numerical values of the circle, as well as mapping the physical action that it’s doing. The math and the action are the same thing, it’s one self-referential, self-reflective relationship. You get that symmetry that’s defining itself, as itself. The unit-circle is the same thing as the clock that says what time it is by showing what a clock looks like when it’s that time or number on the clock. It’s a clock with numbers made out of smaller clocks.
When you see the wave doing that (moving horizontally), that’s showing the circle is doing when it’s doing that (moving in a circular motion), it’s just showing it. And you’re consciousness is just doing that, so the point is, when you have one, at that level, that’s the base level. They’re made of basic dualities, of high and low and this is really one thing, one essences separated into two by perspective, when you expand that you have one line doing this (making a wave-function in the air) and then that line (that the wave function is traversing) begins to make another layer of a wave-function motion, now created of smaller wave-functions (self-referential, redundancy of meaning, layers of information within layers). You have a curvy line now making a curvy line and then you zoom out again and now you have three layers of curvy lines, where there’s a small curvy line making a curvy line, and then that little pattern right there is making a curvy line going up and down and up and down and the whole point is that expands and it can go out many layers. The point is, 9 is the maximum and minimum you need to find the universe. Any more than that and you’re repeating proportionally and you max out proportions when you get 9 of those layers in one complete, multi depth imagery. It’s reminiscent of folding a piece of paper more than 7 times!
When you can do that in your head with layers of becoming cognitive and cognizant of your own awareness, that’s where this event occurs, this foaming, effervescent bubbling, coming to the surface of awareness and wakefulness is formed and you become forefront of that wakefulness rather than the result of it, you become the initiator of it and the result of it. You make yourself, you become the “creator” of the moment of clarity, and so that’s a stream of consciousness that was 5 minutes wrapped up in 31 minutes.
I just wanted to say that, thank you for the comments, I haven’t really been able to respond to them, I will soon, and there’s, I can’t tell you about what is coming! Desire does require a balance of pain and uh, the never ending story, is real, and the fall of man is real, and what goes up must come, so what goes down must come up. And some say it was 2 billion years, and on a higher plane only 33 years will have passed by the time we finish this whole cycle. There are training sims, the fallen, Jerusalem, the great rift, chasm of darkness, the illusory fallen timelines, the black goo, the hunters and the watchers, the dopplegangers, the beginning of time, stopping time, restarting time, the hall of memories, entering hell, there’s so much that happened in this cycle of history, that we’ll talk about it, thank you.
And to add, the waves going, that’s your consciousness, you don’t have to make the circle turn and the wave therefore go, that’s time, it’s happening automatically. What you do is put the thumbtack in the ring as it’s turning so you begin to draw the line as the ball rolls and it draws the line as it goes up and around, and you have to sit it there and hold your consciousness as the layers progress and that act of holding is stretching some type of fabric and the more you do that, the more you pull, the more weight you get behind that the more impact, the more there is a pronounced change or shift in your awareness and eventually that stacking effect occurs and you have multiple layers beginning to coincide in one and where the layers begin to stack and you have one proportional set and another basically the line going this way, and then the line going that way and the whole thing doing this (the extend stacking of layers of redundancy over one another, curves within curves, layers of awareness within awareness), it’s literally like the never ending story.
There’s a video on that I might post, but that’s the secret, that that’s the never ending story, it’s layers of correspondence interacting across planes of perception of abstract reference relative to one another, dependent on your perspective, of your ability to differentiate and collect, collude in essence to bring a kind of relative order between the layers, because otherwise if no one does it then they’re there but it doesn’t do anything, at least not in this plane. It doesn’t do anything here now, so you do it, you make it, you bring it here by seeing it and becoming it in that sense. And that’s just what I wanted to add to, the circles already going, all you have to do is put the thumbtack in it and draw that line and hold if you will you’re putting like a hold somewhere in the past because it begins to go forward and it stretches the stream of consciousness out, note that that kind of looks like a snake the way it moves, through the sand (time) if you will. And the sky in certain situations, we’ll talk more on that.
And I meant to say collide, in that last part, but collude works as well, if you look up the meaning or you know the meaning, it’s that act, is the sacred, secret coming together of what’s happening, it’s the secret of what this actually is, just think about it. Thank you.